It’s been quite an incredible three weeks for me. When I say “incredible” please know I am not defining incredible to mean fun or pleasurable. Let’s define “incredible” here as: beyond my ability to comprehend or understand what’s happening. A vast opening in consciousness which transcends identification with thought or story.
On a physical level this month I’ve had an intense flu that lasted 10 days at the peak of its intensity, It was filled with fevers and chills and muscle aches and shaking and congestion, loss of energy and strength, loss of appetite, a trip to the emergency room and entire days tilled with sleeping. One top of that there’s been an issue with chronic dental pain that to this point, the dental offices are not exactly sure what the cause is for me.
That’s what’s happened on the outer physical level and I will keep those interested informed on that level. What I find more interesting to share with you is what’s been happening on an inner level:
The past three weeks have felt like an initiation of a deepening into another phase of consciousness and an ending of an old one. A rite or passage, an extended shamanic journey into the deep recesses of the collective human mind and heart.
I’ve been extraordinarily quiet, and still not wanting to say much. I’ve been meditative, with most of my attention focused inward. I haven’t been interested in being social in the world around me nor in the realm of social media, nor in “working”.
I’ve gone deep, deep into the stillness within and I’ve been deeply devoted to what I’ve been calling “God consciousness”.
Whenever I go deep into the silence within it becomes increasingly clear that this essence is all that matters, and all that’s real. Everything we experience is a dream-like reflection of this infinite essence. Like Plato in the cave.
The deeper I relax into the Silence within, and anchor there, the more crystal clear it is that every single thing I experience, and all that all of us experience is an illusion, or a dream. A virtual reality of sorts. Virtual realities, and universes will arise and fall forever, yet who I truly am as the Silence remains unchanging as the backdrop from which every material reality is born and falls back into (and actually never even happened).
As most of you know who’ve followed my books, videos, public events, this is not a new revelation for me, yet there is some process happening right now of being more deeply anchored in this Silence.
In the depth of this Silence it’s always crystal clear there will never be a better future. There will never be a future that’s any better than this one. Any sense of a better future is clearly an illusion as is any sense of a future to be afraid of. Thus one rests more and more deeply in the timeless fulfillment of Now beyond the world of form. In the world but not of it.
This brings up a fascinating question however: In this awakened consciousness, where does motivation and drive come from?
If it’s clear the future will never be any better where does my motivation and drive come from. Some have asked: Am I depressed? Despondent? Nihilistic? Not exactly.
The best word I have come up with to describe the the feeling that arises from this depth of self-realization is “free”. However, not freedom in the way we usually talk about it. “I am free. I can do whatever I what whenever I want. Nobody can control me, make me do anything.” Not that freedom at all.
It’s actually the opposite of this. It’s not being free from something or away from something. It’s feeling so free there is nothing you need to do at all to be fulfilled and there’s nothing you need to be free from. It’s a freedom that the illusionary sense of a separate self, also known as ego, can never touch. Vast, empty, awake, and alive. Free of content, yet equally embracing all content from a space of neutrality.
Yet the question remains. If there is complete fulfillment in the stillness and silence within right now where does motivation and drive come from?
I’m still observing the answer moment by moment. All I can say at this point is something started to reintegrate inside me. Something that perhaps we could call a “higher intelligence” or “God”. God wants a quiet mind and an open heart inside us to use us as an open clear channel for the good of the whole.
So it seems motivation and drive, when it arises, no longer comes from reasons of egoic satisfaction, but in a mysterious, effortless, creative way, out of the Silence…to be of benevolent service to all that IS. To be the pure expression of Love..
In this process over the last three weeks there has also been a tremendous deepening of vulnerability and humility. A sense that whatever wants to happen through me, through each of us, is something larger than we can understand, comprehend or take credit for… and that my friends is truly incredible!
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Book a Personal Life Coaching Session:
One of things that has really been evolving for me is a recommitment to my personal life coaching sessions. Email: thebigglow@gmail.com to schedule a personal life coaching or guided meditation session. Sessions are done online or by phone.
I continue to working with clients in the following key areas as an integrated whole for self-actualization and self-realization:
Optimum Physical Self: Diet & Exercis & Rest
Mental: Transcending limiting belief systems and thought patterns
Emotional Intelligence
Relationship
Family
Community
Work/Purpose
Financial
Spiritual: Who am I? Why am I here?
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Video:
There’s a companion video to this email on Facebook Live I made a few days ago that’s about 27 minutes long you can watch.
Join me every Wednesday for our private group with over 90 members from around the world The Secret Glow where we support each other in being accountable to making positive changes in our lives from the depths of self-realization.
