I have re-turned. This means I have taken another turn.
I have returned after my personal five-day, screen-free, silent retreat at Abbey of Gethsemani Monastery in rural Kentucky.
Two things are concurrently happening for me.
These are also the two principles I’ve witnessed after facilitating so many retreats over the years, for so many people around the world.
One is the retreat doesn’t end when you go home. It’s very important to take at least a few days after the retreat to quiet down, slow down, and have ample alone time to diligently integrate all the epiphanies and insights that have opened inside you.
I’m in that process now. In my case, it may actually take a few months.
The second principle is that you can never go back to the way your life was before the retreat. You can only go forward. My previous life is over. Now the question is: what is my new life like?
In many cases, people’s external life remains essentially the same and the changes are on the internal level: mental, emotional, spiritual. For some, there are also big external changes that accompany the internal changes.
There can also be many changes in long-held lifestyle routines, habits, and patterns.
I can already sense, in my case, there will be changes in my lifestyle habits and routines moving forward.
I have lots of notes yet to sift through from the retreat experience. Lots of ideas, insights, inquiries, creative projects, action items.
Yet the truth is, what happened there—and is still reverberating inside me—can never be put into words or any set of ideas.
I went into the retreat mentally and spiritually preparing to face a very difficult experience. I knew I was to be completely cut off from my family, friends, all my music, podcasts, news, all my usual daily routines and habits.
To my great surprise, instead of it being difficult, it was one of the most blissful periods of my entire life!
When all the external stimulation is cut off, TRUTH is revealed. A joy of BEing is discovered that is acausal and ever-present. An immense unconditioned love, at the source of all creation, is touched—free of any fear or worry.
It lies deeper than any passing thoughts, feelings, or experiences. Deeper than anything we can imagine. Anything we can ever hope to gain or fear to lose.
There were times during the retreat, deep in that pristine stillness, I never wanted to go back to ‘the world’ again.
And yet, as I continued to move through the inner process, I’ve ended up inspired to serve humanity more than ever, aspiring to be a beacon of God’s eternal, healing love. I also came away appreciating my family, and friends, now more than ever.
It’s clear to me the sole purpose of the human journey is for us to face the exact challenges we are given and learn our lessons in order to come into deeper communion with God, our Creator, beyond any apparent separation or division.
As we travel the path, we can then show others the way home as well.
Though I sense I will be spending even less time online and on social media in this next chapter, I’ll continue to share the insights and transformations that emerge with you here as I continue to integrate them.
– Brian Piergrossi
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The first night I returned home, a rainbow appeared over our property, as you can see in the photo.
